I am always fascinated by the concept of childhood because it is the foundation of our lives. It intrigues me even more because I, personally, have spent my entire life attempting to re-invent myself following the trauma of my childhood. Childhood, in general, is many different things and no two people experience it in the same way, even if they are siblings. It is a wondrous time in our lives where the template is laid down for who we will become as adults. It is almost like creating a chemistry set with an intricate design of elements—labyrinthine in scope and dimension. It is extraordinarily confounding because there are absolutely no rules, no real patterns, and because it is not at all categorical.
For example, how does a person who was raised very, very poor in the ghetto—any ghetto, become a famous writer, artist, politician or president, and another person who was raised in the same general way, become a hardened criminal? Obviously there are factors other than environment that affect one’s path in life such as nature, nurture and plain old DNA. But what is so interesting about how children evolve is precisely because there are no rules; it is a complete unknown commodity. Mental health professionals can learn everything there is to know about psychology from all of the books known to mankind. But the best teacher is the person who is being analyzed because books don’t apply as much as empirical knowledge and the psyche of every individual. This is NOT to discredit professionals in any way. I have tremendous respect for those of you who have studied human psychology, and who continue to help and support millions of us. But it is not so much based on science as it is on speculation and an understanding of personality.
For clarity’s sake, I am focusing on the affects of childhood on us as adults, not on science, studies of the brain or the medical profession. In particular, I am fascinated by the affects of PARENTING on child development. Dr. Alice Miller wrote a revealing and enlightening book on childhood called “Thou Shalt Not Be Aware: Society’s Betrayal of the Child.” The title alone is profound and provoking, at the very least! Dr. Miller states:
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