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And let us remember that there is OTHER help out there, too. Counselors, therapists and psychiatrists who specialize in addictions are everywhere; Google them. Look them up in the yellow pages or ask a friend, colleague or doctor to guide you to the help you need. And also remember, that we are ALL a work in progress; there are NO easy answers or solutions. We are ALL flawed in some way, some more or less than others. It is all the same, in the end. Disfunction, addictions, pain, disillusionment, shame, toxic thinking—all have roots in the seeds of childhood. When I ask myself if I want to be enslaved by my addiction, or to be free of it (or them), the answer is inevitably obvious. I don’t want to be a slave to anyone or anything—not money, or power, or substances, or stinkin’ thinkin’. I want to be FREE without shackles or chains of any kind. I want to think clearly and independently, have wonderful, healthy relationships, jobs, encounters, lovers, partners—I want it all!! Any kind of addiction gets in the way of freedom of choice and action.
“Recovery” is what it means to be “whole.” Remembering that it is a process and not a quick fix—something that will irrevocably change us, we really have to practice the tools we are given by whomever we are given them. It is up to us to choose to be in a state of constant self-awareness about our character defects, which connect us to a past we wouldn’t have chosen. The addict, who often thinks in terms of “absolutes” or black and white rather than shades of gray, will always be disappointed unless he recognizes how it all works. “Life is a SERIES of ongoing challenges. We may put forth a great of effort to overcome one hurdle. No sooner do we begin to relax that we find ourselves confronting another hurdle, and this goes on infinitum,” says Dr. Twerski. There is no completion to this journey—only “process.” And ANY hurdle is NEVER a viable excuse to over-do anything. Addiction only stops if you stop it no matter what the external circumstances are in your life. Addiction will never solve a problem or change the dynamic of a situation; it will only compound it! Recovery means minute by minute, day by day and is the LIFE you want to live.
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